


Cube

by SamoShampioni



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Music RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Cube - Freeform, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 10:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamoShampioni/pseuds/SamoShampioni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the 2014 Eurovision entrants work for a highly fictionalised version of the NSA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cube

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I have absolutely no idea what goes on inside the NSA, story probably not accurate in any way.

Things were looking very worrying in the world. For one, America, the world's greatest and strongest superpower, was fast becoming a tyrannical and secretive police state. And secondly, America's stockpile of nuclear weapons was growing everyday, so that all the other countries were too scared to speak out against the new regime. Teddy Kennedy, the leader of the Democrat Party, and Spike Berry, the leader of the Republican Party, were part of a very strange operation. In the public they acted as enemies to each other, but the truth was they were working on a very secretive project together. A project that would increase America's power and bring the rest of Europe under American control. Project Cube.  
\---  
It was supposed to be just another peaceful day in sunny San Marino. Valentina Monetta had agreed to represent her country for the third time in a row at the Eurovision Song Contest, and she was currently with Ralph Siegel in the recording studio, trying to come up with a new song for the event.  
"Now, 2012 was good, 2013 was even better," Ralph said, "For 2014 I want something spectacular... something that will finally elevate San Marino from the semis and into the final at last!"  
"Yes," Valentina smiled, "This year I really want to get the best result possible, maybe even win the thing and bring the contest here!"  
"Well," Ralph laughed, "Don't be setting the bar too high now. I mean, a qualification from the semis  
Ralph looked outside of the window again. That car was there again. For the last few days, a strange looking car had been parked outside of the Siegel recording studio, strange people coming out and walking right up to the building they were in and then walking away. It was more than a little suspicious.  
"What is it?" Valentina asked.  
"There's a car outside, people keep coming in and out of it," Ralph said, "For a few days now this has been happening. Do you know who that could be?"  
"Well, what if it's people from one of those Eurovision fan sites?" Valentina said, "Ya know, they'd probably love to get an interview from us about our 2014 participation."  
"Ah, you're probably right," Ralph said, "Good thinking Valentina."  
That sure was a relief for the veteran songwriter, he had thought it might have been something to be concerned about.  
"Well, now that that's over, let's continue with writing the Eurovision entry Valentina..."  
But they wouldn't get the chance. At that moment, they heard a large noise outside the studio, and the sound of heavy boots kicking the door down. The building shook as people dressed entirely in black Valentina and Ralph both hid underneath a table, peeking out at the situation in front of them. Valentina got her phone out and called the San Marino police. The loudspeaker meant that everyone could hear the operator answering the call.  
"Hahahaha," came a voice, "The San Marino police force can't do anything... because we own them! They've already agreed not to interfere with this!"  
She recognised that voice. From the news...? She peeked out from underneath the table and saw the  
"Wha... what are you doing here?" Valentina asked, shocked.  
"This Eurovision nonsense is to be dropped at once," Teddy demanded, "And Valentina Monetta is to come with us."  
"But what about the contest!" Ralph said, "We've been working really hard to ensure that San Marino-"  
"No, she is not to enter the contest," Teddy said, "She is to come with us."  
"But... why?!"  
"All with be explained in good time. We have been watching you Valentina... for a long time indeed."  
"But but-" Valentina began. She was partly convinced that someone had ordered a really good impersonator of the American president to go and play a trick on her. But what a mean trick it was.  
"To take you with me, Valentina Monetta..." the President grinned, "Your services, in translation and also your code breaking skills which rival that of Bletchley Park, would be of great use to us at the NSA."  
"NSA?" Valentina mumbled.  
"The National Surveillience Association of America," Teddy said, before adding cryptically, "And beyond..."  
"Wait... you have code breaking skills?" Ralph seemed surprised by this.  
"No, I don't!" Valentina said, "I don't know what they're talking about!"  
"Yes you do, and you're coming with us."  
The armed police were surrounding them at this point.  
"You can't do this," Valentina said, "This is kidnapping, it is illegal! This is San Marino, you have no powers here!"  
And with that the American president just laughed.  
"For a long time Valentina, you have suspected that you are free," Teddy taunted, "But that is not the case, and it never was. You, along with every other person on this planet, are property of the American government. And we can do with you what we please. Now, will you come with us, or do we have to bomb San Marino?"  
The president had threatened San Marino, and she knew that he meant it. A few years ago Finland had owed a lot of money to America, and refused to pay it back after they found they couldn't afford it. America responded by sending warplanes to bomb the parliament building. Valentina wouldn't let the same fate come to San Marino.  
"Fine," Valentina said, "I'll come with you."  
"Excellent," Teddy said, as his guards dragged the singer away from Siegel and the recording studio.  
"Valentina!" Ralph yelled after her, "You can't do this! Bring her back!"  
Teddy just grinned as the last of his guards left the building.  
"Siegel," Teddy said, "If the San Marino media dare to report on any of this, me and my guards will be back here to deal with you. Do you understand?"  
"Y...yes..."  
\---  
Standing in front of the plane, this was really it, it was real. She was leaving San Marino and being forced to go to America by none other than their own president. It was surreal. Why her, of all people?  
"Oh yes Valentina," Teddy laughed, "We're so glad that you agreed to come to America with me. Well, come on then, let's get seated. Those skills of yours will come in... uh... useful."  
The constant talk of code breaking skills confused her. As far as she was aware, she didn't have any code breaking skills. So why would they want her there?  
'Well', she thought, as she followed Teddy onto the plane and took her seat next to him, 'Maybe once they see I have no code-breaking skills, they'll let me go?'  
Teddy only laughed, as Valentina tried to explain that she had no such skills. She didn't know that the president had made up her code-breaking skills to get her into America. Teddy had another plan for her. And so Valentina gave up, and quietly sat in her seat as the plane took off.  
The president kept his eye on her throughout the flight, just in case she thought of trying anything, and in the other seats sat the president's guards, all ready to spring into action at a moment's notice. Not that any of this was necessary. Who could escape from a flying plane? Not many people.  
\---  
In the quiet, empty countryside of California, lay an old, out of the way building. Anyone passing by would think nothing of it. The home of the mysterious American organisation only known as the 'National Surveillance Agency'. Ironically, a lot of what they had been doing was not 'national' at all, and now they were conducting their surveillance on a worldwide scale.  
Tijana Dapčević was sitting at her desk, typing on her computer. Tijana had been loyal to the Kennedy regime ever since his election in 2008, when she moved from Macedonia to America after she was offered a place in the new NSA scheme. Now she had been working for the NSA for nearly five years. She was just adding some new websites to the database when the door opened. The president walked himself in, causing everyone at the computers to stop typing and turn to face him.  
"Now, I would like everyone to welcome a new NSA worker," Teddy grinned, "She isn't here yet, but as she is a European like you Tijana, and you have been working here for such a long time, I suggest that you show her around."  
Tijana sighed. She didn't really want to stop her work right now, as she had had a very productive day, but there was no disobeying the presidential orders.  
"Yes sir!" Tijana said, and the president left the room.  
\---  
The new recruit came into the room a little while later. Tijana walked over to her. She looked a little frightened, Tijana figured that she must have been threatened to come to America, even though Teddy put on her file that she had 'voluntarily' chose to come. Lies.  
"H..hi," Valentina said meekly, "I'm... I'm Valentina Monetta..."  
"Yes, hello Valentina, I know who you are already," Tijana said, "We know everything about you here."  
"Know about me? But how?" Valentina said before realising the irony of saying that inside the world's biggest surveillance center in the world.  
"Come now," Tijana grinned, "How else do you think we found out about your code breaking skills? We've been watching what you've been posting on the internet. And you'd be kidding yourself if you think we don't monitor all of the Eurovision entrants every year. It's just part of our job."  
"Wha... but... I-"  
"Now now, don't worry," Tijana laughed, "None of you guys from last year did anything wrong."  
"Then why spy on all of us? What did we do to deserve that?"  
"Now now Valentina, that's not the sort of thing an NSA employee such as yourself should be saying... besides, we don't call it spying here, we call it 'monitoring'."  
"But why the Eurovision entrants? Why us? What makes us so special?"  
"Nothing makes you special," Tijana admitted, "When I said we were watching all of you that was only part of the story. We were watching you because we are watching everyone in the world. We know everything, about everyone. Nothing escapes us. It's an operation we've been running for many years now, it's called 'Cube'."  
"Why? What's the purpose of such an operation?" Valentina asked, "Surely this costs a lot of money and-"  
"Questions questions," Tijana sighed, interrupting Valentina, "You really should learn not to ask so many. It's not right for an NSA employee to ask so many questions."  
"I didn't choose to be here..." Valentina muttered.  
"So, they forced you too," a man shouted from the distance, looking up from his computer, "It's good to know I am not alone."  
"Shut up Krassimir, our leader doesn't force anyone to do anything," Tijana said, "This is all a necessary operation needed to protect America from outside and internal threats!"  
"Then why do you keep having to justify yourself," Krassimir snapped back. Valentina was sure she recognised him, in fact, wasn't he on Eurovision a few years ago?  
"Tijana, who is that?"  
"Oh, that's just Krassimir, ignore him," Tijana turned away from the Bulgarian typing on his computer, "Come on Valentina, I'll continue the tour. We still have a lot to cover if you're to know everything that you need to."  
\---  
"Why would they need you, anyway?" Valentina asked Tijana as the two of them walked down a long and winding corridor, Tijana still giving Valentina a tour of the building, "Why would they need me? We are not even American citizens!"  
"What, you think that Cube is just limited to America?" Tijana grinned, "We monitor posts from all over the world, and for that we need translators, such as me and yourself. And you are a code breaker as well! Did you even read the letter we sent you? Do you have any idea what this job entails, Valentina?"  
"What letter? I never got a letter, I got forced to come here by your threatening president."  
"He's no president of mine," Krassimir yelled. It turned out he had followed them.  
"Oh, get lost Krassimir," Tijana rolled her eyes, "Go and do one. Get back to your computer before I report you to Kennedy."  
"Uh, yes yes," Krassimir ran off. It seemed that they were all scared of the president who's public image was so different than the image they were seeing.  
"Well, he's right isn't he?" Valentina said, "This isn't a good place, is it? The work we do here isn't good..."  
"Valentina, don't be silly. We're doing good work here. Of course we are. This is a good thing. Remember our motto, if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear."  
"Then why do you hide this facility?" Valentina asked, "Why do you hide what you're doing here from the people?"  
Tijana's grin faded immediately. For once, she didn't have an answer.  
\---  
Meanwhile, the two American party leaders, Teddy and Spike, were having a discussion about the newest NSA agent. It seemed that they weren't very happy about giving yet another European access to the huge database of information relating to Project Cube.  
"The newest recruit, you are aware she has participated in the Eurovision Song Contest before, aren't you? It's bad enough we have Krassimir. That contest is bad news Teddy. One of the biggest anti-American festivals in the world." Spike Berry said, leaning back in his chair a little. Being pro-Europe meant being anti-American in the world of American politics.  
"Well, you see-"  
"And no, before you start," Spike cut him off, "I don't care what code breaking skills she has."  
"Here's the thing, though," Teddy laughed, "Her code breaking skills aren't even that great, it's all part of the plan, she is expendable."  
"Just like every other worker here, then?"  
Teddy laughed at that.  
"Yes Spike, like all of the NSA workers. Just trust me, everything's going according to plan."  
"Well I've never doubted your plan, Teddy. The foreign branch is worrying me a little, though," Spike admitted, "Having a foreign branch within the NSA at all makes me more than a little uneasy. How can we be sure of their total alleigance to America? When America goes to war with Europe-"  
"No," Teddy interrupted, "The NSA will be rid of them before that time. Hopefully we won't be going to war with Europe for a long time yet, maybe not at all."  
"You know it is inevitable, as do I," Spike sighed, "The Europeans do not wish to play ball with us anymore, not even our personal pets, the British. All the European countries owe us a huge amount of money, but all are refusing to pay their debts. If we don't get back the money we are owed soon, America's already fragile economy will collapse and we fall into anarchy."  
"Don't worry, our newest NSA agent will help with that..."  
"Why? She cannot be trusted, she is already unreliable," the Republican said, "We have this entire building bugged and I have been listening to what she has been saying, her and her Macedonian friend, they are both extremely unreliable..."  
"That's the plan my friend, we are planning a false flag attack of epic proportions. The American public would not support a war with Europe if we were to cast the first strike. But if it looks as though Europe hit us first... then they just might. Europeans attacking Americans... Europeans trying to attack the NSA base... it will all win us the support of the public. Whatever happens, we will win against Europe, I promise you."  
\---  
The next day, Teddy revealed his next big trick. Two more European NSA workers. Tijana and Valentina had gone to meet them at the start of the day.  
"Come on you two, say hello to our two new recruits," Teddy grinned, "Sergej Ćetković and Mariya Yaremchuk. They're from Montenegro and Ukraine. Who knows, maybe you'll see them around?"  
And with that, the president left, leaving Tijana and Valentina alone with the two new workers. Tijana saw the look in the new recruits eyes, it was the same look that Valentina had on her first day. Valentina picked up on it too.  
"You didn't choose to be here, did you?" Valentina asked.  
"Ah, don't worry about that, no one does," Sergei answered, "At least, I think no one does. Uh, I'd... I'd rather not talk about it right now."  
"Oh, ok, sorry," Valentina said.  
"He forced us too," Mariya said, "He said America would attack Ukraine if I didn't come."  
"He used that against me too," Valentina said, "He said San Marino would be bombed if I didn't come and work for him."  
"Interesting," Mariya said, "Do you think that they could perhaps be empty threats? What would happen if we tried to escape?"  
"I don't think we should try that," Sergei said.  
"You can't try that," Tijana said, "In all the years I've been working here, no one has ever escaped from the NSA facility."  
\---  
Tijana sighed. She had no idea why Teddy would personally choose such a freedom loving person to work for the NSA. It just didn't make sense.  
"But it's the people's right to know, isn't it?" Valentina said.  
"No," Tijana said, "Not unless you want to be branded a traitor and get thrown into jail."  
"A traitor? Jail?"  
"Yes, so please be quiet about any misgivings you have with the NSA," Tijana said. Valentina agreed that it was probably for the best, after all, she didn't want to end up in jail. And what if Teddy harmed San Marino for any actions she took against the NSA? No, she couldn't allow that to happen. She just couldn't.  
\---  
It was the next day, and Tijana and Valentina were busy typing away at their computers.  
"They still haven't asked me to prove these code-breaking skills that I obviously don't have," Valentina sighed, "Maybe there's another reason that I'm here... but for some reason they can't say."  
"Nah, you're thinking to much into it," Tijana laughed, "You must have some sort of skills, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Besides, you'll be a good translator for Italian stuff."  
Suddenly, the door swung open, and there, standing in the doorway, was the American president. Silence descended upon the room as everyone turned to get a good look at the president.  
"Tijana, come in here for a minute," Teddy said, before adding, "Your new friend can come along with you too."  
Teddy knew it was important that Valentina too also saw what was about to happen. And so Tijana and Valentina followed the guards down a corridor, and walked into a dark room to find Teddy sitting on a large throne, grinning at them.  
"Is it time, sir?" Tijana asked.  
"Yes, it is time," Teddy said.  
Valentina didn't understand, but the meaning must have been clear to Tijana and Teddy.  
"Good, I can't wait to prove my loyalty to you, sir," Tijana said.  
"Indeed. You knew you were going to be tested eventually..." Teddy laughed, "Your friends, Esma Redžepova and Vlatko Lozanoski will be involved in this test."  
"Oh," Tijana said.  
"Yes, your friends Esma and Vlatko are in America right this minute. We are going to arrest them and charge them with crimes against the state for absolutely no reason at all. I have the power, and so I will do it. You will accept this as part of your NSA work. It is a test to make sure you value us, the NSA and American values, above that of your friends and family. I, Teddy Kennedy, am all the friends and family you need now. You don't need them anymore. Do you understand?"  
"I understand sir," Tijana said cooly, as she and Valentina were lead out of the room and back to the corridor. Valentina was shocked. Was this some kind of joke?  
\---  
Spike walked in to find Teddy grinning at them.  
"Most testings are fake, are they not?" Spike said to the American president.  
"Indeed," Teddy grinned, "But this one will be real. We've made sure that Tijana has seen enough fake 'testings' to completely disregard it. She thinks it's fake. But it's not. The Eurovision entrants known as 'Esma and Vlatko' are currently in America as we speak."  
"Ooooh, very sneaky, I like it."  
"And..." Teddy said, "They will be blamed in a false flag attack. This will be the perfect excuse we need to nuke the Balkans..."  
\---  
"You don't even care?" Valentina yelled as the two of them walked back over to their computers, "How can you not care?!"  
Tijana just laughed.  
"You saw how over the top that was, right?" Tijana grinned, "I mean come on, you believed that? It's fake. It's all bloody fake. It's to test our allegiance to the NSA. They won't really be arrested. Gee, you really don't know anything about the NSA do you? Everyone gets tested eventually. They make you choose between the NSA and your family and friends, but nothing ever happens to them. It's a trick."  
"Oh..." Valentina said, she hadn't realise just how cruel this industry could be, even to it's own workers. Then she added, "Will I get tested too?"  
"Yup, eventually," Tijana said, "But don't worry, nothing will happen to you or anyone else. It's just to test your loyalty, it all goes with the territory, you see. Teddy's all talk and no action."  
"Oh..." Valentina was unsure about all this, "So... did you choose to work here or-"  
Tijana laughed.  
"Valentina. You've heard what Krassimir and Sergei said. No one chooses to work here."  
"But you said-"  
"I say a lot of things, Valentina. Not all of them are true."  
\---  
Later, Valentina seemed quite distant, barely focusing on the computer screen. Tijana noticed that something seemed to be bothering her new friend. Well, other than the fact she was forced to work here.  
"Hmm, what's wrong? Don't tell me you're worried about Esma and Vlatko," Tijana grinned, "It's fake, I told you already! They're fine. Come on, I'll phone them and prove to you that nothing's happening. Teddy said they were in America, right? So, I'll phone them! I bet they're sitting about in Macedonia right this minute."  
"Oh, ok, that makes me feel better," Valentina said.  
Tijana dialed the phone. Vlatko answered her.  
"Oh hey Tijana! Guess what? We were going to surprise you but since you called us first... guess what?!"  
"Uh, what?" Tijana said.  
"We're in America! Yup! We can't believe it either! Hey, we might even come and visit you in wherever it is you work!"  
"You're not in America!?" Tijana yelled, almost dropping her phone to the ground in shock, "What... why?"  
"We're on holiday, of course!" Vlatko said, "It was really strange, we received these tickets for a free holiday, we must've won some sort of competition! Not that I remember entering one! Say, how's your work over in America doing? Going well? I know you always say that you can't talk about it but-"  
"Vlatko. Esma. Listen to me," Tijana said, "You've got to get out of America right this instant."  
"What, leave America?" came the reply, "But we've only just arrived! Come on Tijana!"  
"No, Vlatko, listen to me. I work for the NSA. That's what I've been doing. I can't talk here, where are you?"  
"The NSA? What are you talking about? We're at the Statue of Liberty!"  
"Right ok, I'm going to come to you. You've got to leave this country right now, do you hear me?"  
"T-Tijana, what's wrong? You're scaring us..."  
"Something terrible is going to happen... go back to your hotel, wherever it is, and stay inside. I will come to you. I promise. I won't let anything bad happen."  
"Tijana..."  
"Just trust me! Ok?"  
But the phone cut off, leaving Tijana wondering if Esma and Vlatko believed her or not. She would have to call again.  
"What's wrong?" Valentina said, "You said it was all fake, didn't you?"  
"I did," Tijana said, "But I'm not so sure anymore."


End file.
